Kidney Care UK counsellor Dee Durham has written a series of blogs about managing various aspects of dealing with the current lockdown situation whether you are experiencing it alone or with family. Last week part two of Coping in isolation. This week is the last of the blogs and is the second part of dealing with your family in isolation.
With the lockdown continuing, the prospect of spending even more time together may not be quite so appealing. The clearing out of drawers, decorating of bedrooms, zoom chats and family game nights may still be happening but perhaps feeling a little bit like groundhog day.
Following on from part 1, how can you build on this enhanced awareness of your spouse and children ? How can you use this time well, become more connected with your family?
Alongside making the time to really notice, perhaps you can start to be curious about your loved ones. Being curious is something we have to make a conscious effort to develop. Most of the time we have a fairly good idea of what makes our loved ones ‘tick’. Using curiosity is more about wondering why they do, say or think particular things……
We all live in two worlds, the inner world which we tend not let others see, and the outer world we live in day to day . Allowing others to sneak a peek into our inner world when we feel safe and not criticised allows them to see a little more of what really makes you ‘tick’.
Perhaps start by being curious as to why a conversation was started at dinnertime. Try not to respond as you would normally, by agreeing, accepting or dismissing.
Just take a moment to notice and be curious. Think about why the comment was made and if it could be a useful way of finding out a little more about the person who spoke.
This is a really good way of starting DMC’s as my children call them…deep meaningful chats.
Using curiosity in a conversation can open up a little more of their inner world. Perhaps also using curiosity to look at your own inner world and how much you show of you, why you respond in a particular way, or think particular thoughts.
After all, curiosity may have killed the cat but it may be useful to show a little more of the inner world of the people we love and why we love them.
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